Ajaxian Sun Beta 14

• Author: Calonike
• Posted: 26 May 2004 3:59

We needed a paper. I couldn't think up a good name, so I kinda stopped trying.

FIRST EDITION OF THE 'AJAXIAN SUN' HITS STANDS!

AJAXUS--Raining forth bright and only occasionally lethal rays of enlightenment upon the ignorant masses, the first edition of the Ajaxian Sun hit the stands today. We here at the Sun are devoted to bringing you every gruesome detail of the unfolding Ajaxian galactic conquest, replete with interviews of both victorious Ajaxian commanders and reprobate alien scum, as well as glossy full color photos of stuff we've conquered/blown up.

So for the truth and nothing but the (sanitized for you protection, government sanctioned) truth, pick up your copy of the Ajaxian Sun today!

OTHER NEWS

KRILS AT PLAY

ASTEROID FIELDS--The recent movement of the Krilgorian Fleet into the 'roids was apparently made solely to utilize the regions unique terrain for a large scale game of 'dodgeball'.

TIBS GET LOST

BORAXUS--Years of radiation poisoning from abandoned mines on Tibrar having left most Tibs with what can only be called a 'piss poor' sense of direction, the Tibran Fleet inexplicably arrived over the planet Boraxus today. According to sources close to the Tibran LC, the fleet was actually destined for Canopus West, and somehow couldn't seem to reach it from Tibrar. Quote one pilot, "Well, we knew we were lost, but no one wanted to stop and ask for directions. And after we ended up here, we figured, hey...why not blow some **** up?! GWAHAHAHAHA!!" The Tibran LC is apparently still lost, and could not be reached for comment.

PERPLEXED BORS HURRY HOME

81103--Taken off guard by the rapid Tibran move on their home planet, the Boraxian fleet is being rushed home to deal with the menace. In a news conference earlier today, the Boraxian LC stated, "I know their all gonna run away as soon as we get there, but it's the principal of the thing people!"

• Author: ChiliDog
• Posted: 31 May 2004 15:57

LARGEST JUMP EVER

The once dreaded Bor Armada suffered another crushing defeat today to the hands of a band of sixteen Ajax Clean Trooping Outer Rimmers. The ACTORs immediately took down the mighty ZoneyMalone and Bounty. LC "sleep is for the weak" ecvej actually missed the jump sequence as he was scrambling to compile a target list for his hungry pilots. "Money bags" Mabus was found roaring in laughter at the new activity at his fingertips.

SUN REPORTER KIDNAPPED

If you know the whereabouts of "Ace" Calonike, please inform the editors. We are worried. A reward of two bags of popcorn have been donated graciously by infernojs. Rumor has it that master assassin hapiface absconded Calonike for using her ship logo.

AJAX PILOT CHARGED

Following Geneva Convention Regulations, Ewokdude has been charged for bunny hunting. Altough this sort of thing is rampant in this day and age, it rarely is ever proscecuted and never successfully tried. Ewokdude's lawyers Singe Roman and Guttenhaugersven are asking for a retrial

AND IN OTHER NEWS...

ARE AJAX JOINING THE COLLECTIVE

VC "Money Bags" Mabus is denying rumors he has hacked pilots computers and changed all their names to Mabus.

RIGHT HANDEDNESS

A pro-left group has voiced concerns that pilot controls are designed predominantly for righthanded pilots. Ajax Command is believed to be making settlements for those lefties fouled.

COW VIRUS

A plethera of "Moo" taunts have spread across the galaxy - unknown where it originated.

NEW BOARD GAME

Where in the world is the Kril blob? Turn 81 sales are quickly outpacing early hour releases... stay tuned.

• Author: EwokDude
• Posted: 31 May 2004 17:41

EwokDude found guilty

EwokDude was found guilty of the death of a single Kril bunny. He was charged with a period of public service following the Ajaxian armada and attempting to draw enemy fire while keeping his own ship alive. After the trial EwokDude was heard saying "I would have killed another bunny, but when I saw DarkRaven flying that level 1 Kril repper, I was too confused to do anything but taunt him" Apparently that worked out as DR has now disappeared with the rest of the cybernetic lizardmen.

• • massive bounty in place""

Pilot cranar272 is a known pirate and was seen flying a Eagle of Tundaria under the rogue flag. It was assumed that he followed Johnny Depp's strategy from pirates of the caribbean to take the vessel. Author: Roman :: Posted: 31 May 2004 19:27

Following a long & relentless campaign By Ewokdude's lawyers & in light of recent new

Evidence a new date was finally set for the retrial. During this already 3 week old case - Now being widely referred to as the Perosis Trials -

It came to light that Ewokdude has in fact been drawing wages from a secret government department dedicated to urban cleaning & sanitation of the Outer Ring.

ED'S lawyers referred to sections of the terms & conditions of government employment where it

clearly states that this in fact not classified a crime as long as no-one is looking. Judge Judy

who is residing over the trail has called for a 2 day resses at this time - the trail continues.

EwokeDude - who has not present for most of the trial due to his bunny hunting activities is

said to be optimistic....

A small group calling themselfs the FREE THE AJAXIAN ONE is thought to be gaining support. Secrete bunny hunters from all over ajaxus are reportedly signing up....

• Author: ecvej
• Posted: 1 June 2004 9:58

Tripe Invasion

Tick 87 saw the invasion of Tripe and a rather odd turn of events at Ajaxian HQ. Accusations of multing against VC Mabus have spread to include LC ecvej. It appears there are at least 3ecvej's each issuing a different target list creating havok. The official press release from legion HQ states an over eager radio operator was to blame, the LC is of course in perfect health and is not suffering any form of dementia.

In other news Ajaxian spies have been criticised for their estimation of Kril strength. Initially estimated as the weakest legion, they repelled a Tib invasion and may now be a strong rival. Long term covert op pilot EwokDude, codenamed bunnyhunter, was punished for the poor quality of his intelligence gathering from behind enemy lines. He was summoned to the Tripe battle in yellow shields where he is to be used as a Bor punch bag whilst the rest of the legion remain healthy.

reignDroplet (Ajaxian)

Posted - 1 June 2004 18:32 Edit MessageLetter to the editor:

Dear Ed.,

These other sectors you speak of... where are they and how do I get to them. I hope I don't have to go through hypergates, because that's a bit risky, my old mum always told me, "Don't you ever touch your grandma like that again... and stay away from hypergates too!" SO, until someone devises a means to get me to another sector without using those shifty hypergates, I'll just as soon stick around Ajaxus and make decoys. Any help with this problem is much appreciated. Also, who is the editor, it seems we have quite a few standing-editors and reporters-with-a-good-sense-of-humor, but who's the real editor?

-reign in Spain

• Author: ChiliDog
• Posted: 1 June 2004 19:18

Dear ReignDroplet

My old pa, ForrestDog, used to say that HyperGates are like a bowl of chicken wings. You never know what you'll find. But, once you have tried one, it's hard to stop. But, sometimes bad things happen and folks send you queer messages like "belly's gonna get you". Kind of like when you eat too many chicken wings or cookies or soda pop. Anyways, hyper gates are adventurous and exciting and new, climb aboard, we're expecting you... the love boat, excuse me.

Where was I - yes, Mr. Calonike is our editor and we are worried sick over where he might be. Do you understand that little one? We are going out of our minds in fear over what our enemies may be doing to him. Don't tell your grandmother about this. It'll be our little secret.

Warm regards,

ChiliDog

Class 2 reporter

• Author: reignDroplet
• Posted: 1 June 2004 21:0

Investigative Report

As I tuned my ancient CB radio I accidentally picked up a signal on an umarked station that I later found to be an Tibran intelligence frequency. The little part of a message that I was able to pick up went as follow, "... torturers now have Calonike in their ... deep, deep, deep, deep, deep hole in his... this media mogul of Ajaxian allegiance... ... ... ... pay for the crimes against the Tibran Queen with... ... deep deep... ... ... deep, deep deep deep hole in his...." Then my little sister punted my radio through the window and I los the signal entirely.

Sorry if that lacks detail, but I think you can get the jist of the fun that the Tibs are having with our beloved Editor in Chief. We must act swiftly to assure his safety!

-reignDroplet

(Homeworld News and Accidental Intelligence Correspondent)

Calonike (Ajaxian)

Posted - 2 June 2004 19:2 Edit Message

• Author: Calonike
• Posted: 2 June 2004 19:2

AJAXIAN BLOB RUNS RAMPANT

TRIPE--Continuing their recent string of success, the Ajaxian Fleet recently strung together victories against both the Boraxian and Tibran forces in the Apollo and Tripe sectors. Following the fight, Boraxian forces have fallen back to the very doorstep of their homeworld, though doubts remain with some at Ajaxian Command whether lasting damage can be done to a HW with current fleet firepower. Certainly the Boraxian ST is likely to be, in the words of pilot ChiliDog "great for target practice".

Rumors persist that the Tibrans and Boraxians may have entered into some sort of NAP against our fleets. Answering these remarks, LC ecvej had this to say: "It's too early to say for certain, but Tibs and Bors of course make natural allies being opposite eachother in the galaxy. Frankly, even if it WERE true, we can easily crush both their fleets. Heck, it might even save us some time and travel if they group up for us." Author: Calonike :: Posted: 3 June 2004 6:11

EDITORS NOTE

It seems rumors persist about my 5 day absence from everywhere. First off, I was not kidnapped by Tibran agents, tortured in unspeakable ways by Xin and Ranthed with a cattle prod and malibu barbie till I was subverted to the will of the Tibran queen. Least I think I wasn't...

I was also not kidnapped by Hapiface and forced to spend 5 days on Boraxus as her loveslave. I was not kidnapped by Tum or Boris to be their loveslaves, in case you were going to ask. Far as I know she's still planning to kill me, but it probably won't be anything as subtle as a stealthy assasination.

I likewise did not spend the last week on a bender at the TMC Pleasure Bar and Grill. I didn't spend it in rehab, either...that's next week, already asked for it off.

I actually forgot where I had parked my ship after leaving the Sun offices last week. I mean, c'mon...it's a blue cereal box, just like every other frickin' repper. Anyway, took a few days before I found the bridge I "may" have flown it off of, and a couple more to get it pulled out of the river and reupholstered. But, back now, leaving Ajaxus and it's confusing parking situation behind and ready to rejoin the fray.

Calonike

Editor in Chief

• Author: ChiliDog
• Posted: 3 June 2004 7:47

Lost

Find the "whipping boy"

• Author: Calonike
• Posted: 8 June 2004 6:11

EDITORS NOTE

I been busy. Got time now though, so nyer.

AJAXIANS CRASH BORAXIAN HAT PARTY

BORAXUS--Having pushed the Yellow Menace back to it's home sector, the Ajaxian Fleet took the fight today into the very heart of the enemy stronghold. The subsequent battle, despite the superiority of Ajaxian fleet elements upon entering the fray, proved indecisive. No lasting damage was done to the infrastructure of Boraxus. As some analysts had suggested prior to the attack, the Ajaxian Fleet is still a tad short on the sort of raw firepower needed to bring down a heavily shielded enemy installation.

The raid did manage to disrupt this years Boraxian Hat Party, as several pilots left the fight to strafe the gala event on Boraxus surface. When reached for comment about these "attrocities" Legion Commander Ecvej had this to say: "aww, c'mon they had these dorky hats on! What's the point of all this weaponry if you can't strafe civilians?!" Sources within Ajaxian Command have informed us that ecvej led the attack himself.

OTHER NEWS

RED SKY CITY--Infamous former Krilgorian pilot Boris was discovered this week living on a small jungle moon in the RSC sector. Following accusations of "cheating", he apparently entered into yoda-like seclusion to hone his already formidable battle skills. Upon discovery, Boris left the system in search of a new hiding spot, though not before killing 3 Sun reporters (myself included...I got better though!).

TIBRAR--Scientists working for the Southern Sector Institute of Spurious Science unveiled today the culmination of their 20 year study of the geology of planet Tibrar. "Apparently everything isn't just really slimey", said head scientist ChiliDog (nightjob), "but the whole planet is actually a type of lime Jell-O held together by a plutonium core (which accounts for the strange glow)." Author: Calonike :: Posted: 8 June 2004 6:27

AJAXIANS MAKES GOOD TIME TO SOUTHERN SECTOR

ASTEROID FIELDS--Despite having to fight rush hour traffic, the Ajaxian fleet made surprisingly good time reaching Southern Sector today. Experts have cited various reasons for this. Certainly the liberal distribution of sedatives to pilots to aide in fighting off the onset of "Road Rage" when dodging ships and house sized boulders helped smooth the trip. Patient timing (several turns were used in Apollo Sector preparing for the journey) also helped, quote Viceroy Mabus, "Hey, I played Frogger. Timing is everything." Most probably the swift trip was due to the Ajaxian willingness to "blow the s*** outta anything that moved...and some stuff that looked like it might think about moving."

ASTEROID FIELDS--Environmentalists gathered today to protest against the recent slaughter of Space Whales by Ajaxians. Most of the whales natural habitat was atomized along with most of the whales: experts don't forsee a comeback, though do note that the whales are "good eating".

AJAXUS--Having stepped down for personal reasons (he's driving me to rehab in Star City this week) pilot Ecvej's term as legion commander came to an end today. Having brought victory against alien hordes of a variety of colors, he will be greatly missed...till he gets back next week. Interim Legion Commander the_hero, who has a lengthy resume of blowing things up and helping others do so, has assured that success will continue under new leadership.

• Author: Calonike
• Posted: 11 June 2004 5:45

I'll get this close to current one day, I swear.

AJAXIAN FLEET REGROUPS

AJAXUS--Having rushed the heart of the fleet home following defeat in Southern Sector to stem off a possible raid on the HW's ST, many ships were in need of repairs. Though, as LC the_hero was quick to note, there were far fewer yellow shields than there might have been. "It's a great opportunity to level up some reppers", noted the LC, "and we'll be moving out sooner than people think if the enemy doesn't come to us first."

OTHER NEWS

ASTEROID FIELDS--The apparent Anti-Ajaxian cooperation ended swiftly, with all three legions turning on eachother. Scoffed pilot Shiid, "typical alien scum."

DRAGOR--Pilots TumNarDok and Hapiface continue their depredations along the OR, attacking shipping, raiding outposts and creating enormous crop circles that have caused corn and grain prices to skyrocket. The bounty on both pilots has steadily increased, to no avail. Tune in to ASN for 36 hr live coverage of the depredations as they happen!

• Author: D@rio
• Posted: 15 June 2004 1:37

AJAXIAN FLEET LAYS SIEGE TO TIBRAR

Abunch of the ajaxian fleet went on a daring mission to take advantage off the siege of boraxus by the tib/krill alliance to sneak up on the tib homeworld to score some points. as rumours go that the tib lc has a affair with the krill vc this is an alliance that is only surpassed by the alliances in movies an therefore is it us the brave ajaxians that have to resort to guerilla tactics to stay alive an level up. with great succes as i might add !

the tib legion was so dazzled by the swift combatforce of us ajaxians that they took the first hw gate they could find to jump straight back to tibrar,,,,,,,,,,to find us......gone ! leaving the krills hanging in boraxus for the bors to shoot at.

All ajaxian pilots came home unharmed

FIRST AJAXIAN TO REACH CRUISER STATS

our congrats go out to the_Her0 "nah i keep my cloacker.....u tell me all when we go bombing an i pick it up then" in a quick remark from this daring cloacker pilot !

• Author: D@rio
• Posted: 20 June 2004 14:25

SIEGE ON TIBRAR

after the gruesome crusade the tibrans found them self highly superiour to the other legions. in a war councel meeting from the other legions was decided to bring the tibran foe back to earth an so planns where made to destroy the tibs homeworld. as we speak a daring invasion army from krillgore/boraxus/ajaxus has landed in the tibran sector pilots are starting to get itchie as it only moments away for the "fire at will" order to be given.

as i am checking my gunns for the last time i will report back to u when the first shots fly through the sector !

D@rio (Boraxian)

Posted - 20 June 2004 15:11 Edit Message

• Author: D@rio
• Posted: 20 June 2004 15:11

LIVE UPDATE FROM THE TRENCHES OF TIBRAR

the orders to fire came at t-15 an orders they where ! the targeted party was changed in the krills ajaxian pilots turned there ships around to target their "supposed" alliance m8s. target list went down in flames as pilots where questioning the orders an fired on other targets. lot's o ships got emped bij the blastenergie in the system an saw their gunn systems offline just at the moment of the shot.

turmoil all around as i must say. Reporter got his shots off but likes to find the ajaxian vc for a statement over the sudden change in planns

more news as the story progresses !

reporter likes to send special thanx to son of squid for repairing the news vessel under combat conditions !

• Author: Calonike
• Posted: 16 July 2004 6:00

THE AJAXIAN SUN--PROPAGANDA, SANITIZED FOR YOUR PROTECTION

RAID ON TIBRAR

TIBRAR--Ajaxian forces today completed a daring raid on the Tibran Scan Tower in the very heart of the enemies greatest stronghold. Specifics remain unavailable for security reasons, but use of a "special gate" seems likely given that rapidity with which Ajaxian forces reached enemy space. Tibran forces were swiftly recalled to repell the threat, though the attack had largely finished before their return. Mechanical failures saw the loss of several ships, as well as members of the Krilgorian remnant.

Despite the absence of significant kills in Tibrar (though straggling in the Tibs hurried return home did yield several kills by Boraxian forces, most notably pilot happy) Ajaxian command appears optimistic about the raids results. VR Mabus stated in press conference earlier today that, "we took no major losses, gained some good experience, and rattled the Tibs cage a bit...certainly it would have been nice if we had been able to hit Tibrar with a large enough force to do some serious damage, but not a bad showing". (K, that was probably a bit to wordy to have actually come from Mabus...)

OTHER NEWS

---

TIBRAR NEWS NETWORK OFFICES DESTROYED

TIBRAR--As the culmination of years of bribes to the military by the Ajaxian Sun, one of the primary targets in the recent raid on Tibrar was the home offices of rival news network TNN. Champagne and Wheat Thins to follow tonights broadcast to celebrate the dominance of Ajaxian propaganda.

AJAXIAN SUN BACK ON THE AIR

AJAXUS--Despite continuing rumors of death/kidnapping by alien space-gerbils, editor Calonike has returned from detox/rehab in Acrador to resume work here at AS. We're hoping he'll show someone else how to use the equipment this time, or at the very least disable 200,000V electroshock security system that nearly killed D@rio last week...

WELCOME TO ALL FORMER KRILS!!

AJAXUS--Legion Commander Shiid issued today a message of welcome (with carefully embedded brainwashing) to all former Kril pilots now enlisted in Ajaxian ranks.

• Author: D@rio
• Posted: 20 July 2004 21:33

MEXICAN STAND OFF IN THE 3 SUNS

After a raid on our beloved home planet the tibs were driven back by the heroic actions of tha ajaxian armada. after they fled an the most life trheatening situations where patched up the ajaxian fleet gave chase, but not for long as the tib menace turned and face the oncomming armada. Without the benefit of ajaxian p.D.s. systems the both fleets are almost evenly matched.

after a ferocious battle in the last five minites of tick 482 a mirical happend to one of the tib cruisers, the pick up gods where mercyfull as they reached in an saved one of them from a sure death !

as the fire died down once again ajaxian an tibran fleets are staring at eachother through their torpedo shafts !

this reporter will keep the rest of u ajaxians up to date as the story unfolds !

for now it is just a dime on it's side !

OTHER NEWS

REPRIMANDE FOR CARRIER CAPTAIN !

as heard through the air waves in this sector carrier captain suicide was reprimanded for endangering the ajaxian fleet !

it seemed that to many of the ajaxian fighter pilots refused to go to battle as they weren't willing to give up their luxuries acomodations on the carier of captain suicide !

as one fighter pilot stated " how dare they start a battle when i am on a winning streak at the poker tables !

Still electric but voltage overload easing away

reported to u live

Ajaxian Sun

D@rio

• Author: D@rio
• Posted: 21 July 2004 0:17

THE THREE SUNNS : BATTLEGROUND EXTRAORDINARE

as the battle continues the tib battle cruiser pilootje lit up the skies with a nice display of exploding fireworks. Nice work to the joint operations that made this possibel after the daring luck this cruiser displayed just a bit earlier in the battle. The ajaxian cruiser Mabus sustained heave blows but was still erect at the end of the battle resuplied with some pick up power the pick up gods were favourabel once again but now on the ajaxian side givin cruiser Mabus a sudden jump in shield power. Meanwhile with reenforcements comming in for the tibbs the joint chief has given the orders to pull back ! the common replie among the daring ajaxian fighter pilots is that it has to be a shame that we have to withdraw once again if we only had the potential of all the fighter an ships the tibs where the once that should have to move.

So far so good. Ajaxian bars en salloons prepare !

The legion is comming home !

EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA

REGENERATION TECHNOLOGIE FOUND AN CAPTURES !

After the remarkebel recovery of the tib cruiser Pilootje some daring away mission boarded the cruiser just before it blew up an resqued a module with strange tib language upon it

Back on the cruiser Mabus it was decifered an instaled acording to sources on board it was a new kind of reganaration module capabel of restoring the ships back up systems !

Scientist aboard warned that the module was highly unstabele an therefore couldn't be used.

Right on that point the Mabus became target of a heavy firing stacato of the tib fleet. right before the end the module was engaged. right before self destructing it revealed it marvels bringing the mabus Back to the legion ranks.

If we find out more we will report on this phenomenom !

Ajaxian sun

field reporter D@rio

• Author: DeathMETAL :
• Posted: 25 July 2004 1:59

The AJAXIAN Sun Returns: Battle at the Roids

During the last few days the Tibrans have been massively organized a fleet of ragtag carriers and cruisers to assault the Boraxian homeworld. As the Tibs moved into Red Sky City for the invasion, the courageous Ajaxians (who had built a fleet in the Apollo Sector) hypered into the Asteroid Fields. Son_of_Squid lead the attack, as the Tibs struggled to maintain control of the Roids and continue on with their invasion. With the Bors fierce fighting at one front (their home planet) and Ajaxians destroying ships in the Roids, the Tibrans pulled their fleet out of the Bor home planet.

To salvage the remaining half of the fleet that wasnt destroyed by Ajax fighters, the Tibs jumped into the Roids from RSC to fight off the Ajax fleet. Unfortunately, sustaining heavy damage Son_of_Squid's ship was destroyed but not before the courageous leader ejected in an escape pod back to Ajaxus. There he commandereed another ship and navigated his way back to the battle front. However, Ajaxian ships were outmanned unfortunately, even with their NAP with the Bors, because the Bors had not sent in their fleet to aid the Ajax fighters. Seeing potential disaster, Son ordered the retreat but not after the fleet hit the Tibran cruisers hard.

Meanwhile, rumors have gathered on several planets that a supposed Bor bombing squad, along with a few Krils are leading an assault on the Tibran Scanning Tower. For now these rumors have neither been publicly addressed by Son however, many inside sources close to the general have suggested that there maybe validity to these rumors.

Field Reporter

Death Metal (Fuzz from itswar)