Blackadder

Name: Matt
Age: ?
Location: UK
Playing for how long: Way back when
Favourite Ship: ?
Favourite Race: ?
Your mentor: ?
Something about yourself: Also known as CalJohnston

OK. Having had various threats made upon my miserable little existence for not producing one so far, I have decided to preserve what little sanity remains to present my own version of the history of Blackadder.

I have one particular claim to fame in the world of tvs ! One for which all the fans of the game should, forever, be grateful !!

On 29th March, 2001 at 14:56, Wingee sent an email around the company containing two possible suggestions for online games. These were both aimed at Infogrames and intended to help to convince them to go with an interactive idea to promote Edge Of Chaos when it was released later in the year. The second of those suggestions (the full message is still available if anyone wants to see it) was called Space Ship War Thing. I read the full description of this game and said "that'll never work". Somewhat miffed by my comment, Wingee departed mumbling something about "OK, I'll build the thing then, I'll show you... pah, stupid salesmen..."

So. Three days later we were presented with a map-less, graphic-less (yes, that means black text on a white back-ground) game. We were told we could join either Goodies' or Badies' side. Then we could hyper between the two sectors. We asked what a hyper was and were treated to another barrage of Wingee's "pah, stupid salesmen" comments. In silence, for fear of more verbal abuse, we all obediently logged in and selected a ship. When I say selected, it wasn't like there was a choice. We were given a ship. It was the same as all the other ships but that didn't matter because you couldn't visualise it and it didn't have any sort of fancy name. It was probably called Shippy. After several minutes of bewildering nothingness, a Goodie ship (also called Shippy) appeared on my screen. Actually, the words "Wingee, Shippy, Goodie" appeared with a button saying "attack".

There it was. When the six of us, three Goodies and three Badies all met in one of the two sectors (probably known as sector 1 and sector 2) we had the first great battle of tvs. What you all know as tvs now made the transition from "that'll never work" to "cool, I killed Wingee" at that very instant. That very second, the fourteen or so words on a screen and three attack buttons.

Since then. A lot of it's a blur really. I have difficulty distinguishing between the beta numbers. I never really studied the different ship types. I didn't notice much difference when the planets got their individual characteristics. I sort of noticed the outer ring when it appeared but only because it meant there was more irrelevant information (planetary data) to read through - still never really read it.

So what do I remember.

First real outstanding memories were when tvs was a month old (ish). Easter weekend, 2001. Myself and Darth_fool missing sleep chasing Morgana and David around the galaxy. We so wished that Morgana would stop running long enough to get that final shot in but no. There she was, gone again. After about 12 solid hours of frenzied chase, where someone earned a reputation for running... I think that's where "you'd run that quick if your ass was on fire, too" came from... that someone appeared hypering back into our sector at Full Health ! Damn those pick ups ! Could this have been the first instance of tvs players behaving like sad muppets and setting their alarms to wake them at tick time ?

One Beta number I do recall. Beta 3. The team started with myself, Deimos (first LC until he went on holiday), Chopper, Polecat, Abbev and Darth_fool. During the early days, other notables joined us such as Zoomer and the infamous Dixi. We did well under the leadership of Deimos. It was in the days when losing your LC meant the loss of scans and he did well to stay out of several monumental battles against the Bors. Although never totally sure who the Bor LC was, Morgana and David we always the popular choices. Then the time came for Deimos to go on holiday. We needed a new LC. Nobody volunteered. Nothing new there then. I got elected. I promised Deimos that the legion he had put together would not be allowed to fade into obscurity and started on my master plan. The first rule was - don't get destroyed. The second rule was - follow the firing plan. It worked extremely well. A well disciplined force of 30 - 40 ships and their repair buddies went into action. First Dreadlar - the Bors were forced to retreat licking their wounds. Then Orbital. We attacked, forced the Bors to run then defended two counter-attacks. All the time, we hardly lost a ship. Just after one of these battles, I was chatting with Morgana in Tara's. If you looked at the rankings at the time, you'd see nothing special on the top page. If, however, you went to page 2, page 3 and page 4 you'd see what inspired Morgana to ask "where the hell did you get all of those level 4's from ?"

I should have known something was about to go wrong. We had started to suspect that we had, at some time, destroyed the Bor's LC because they never replied to inter-LC comms and their organisation had fallen apart. We also suspected that the Tibs had lost their LC and we realised that our Kril team was stronger than the other three legions put together. Unfortunately, they realised this too.

This was when the 3rd Kril rule was born. The third rule was - turn off the fan in your ship before anything nasty hits it. Too late. A three-way NAP! I protested to Wingee that it wasn't possible to organise within the rules of tvs if two of the legions no longer had LC's. I protested that organising such a NAP in Tara's was using external communications. My protests fell on deaf ears. Then, in the midst of plenty of nasty things hitting Kril fans all over the Galaxy, some stupid Ajaxian newbie publicised that I was the LC in Tara's. Many Bors made changes to their target list, despite promises from their leaders that they wouldn't. Again I protested to Wingee. No deaf ears this time but a sympathetic name change to Cal Johnston. We were back in action then. After several battles against every Ugly in the galaxy, the glorious Kril legion was still dominant and rampant. For a while, it looked as if we could beat a three-way NAP. Then the killer blow. Morgana used one of the anomaly jump gates to sneak a force of Bors into PK. Not really a major threat but, once you factor in that it caused panic amongst our newbies, I have admired this attack more than any other in tvs. We, a force of 30 ships, all active, trained and working as a team, well able to win against 3 to 1 odds, were beaten by one bold master-stroke from about 8 Bors. The end of the absolute best legion in the history of tvs started at 15:40 on Friday June 29th, 2001. I was first to make the jump into PK. The rest followed. (I know this was the exact time and date because Ginger, bless her, thought it would be funny to send me emails - a feeble attempt to emulate the ones you get when your ship gets destroyed). Within three hours, we were finished and our planet was space dust.

For the rest of Beta 3, still convinced that the rules on external communication had been changed to include Tara's, our little band of miffed ex-Kril Tibs decided we would rather fight with the Bors than against them. Our respect for the Morgana-led Bor attack meant that we would not entertain attacking them so we attacked some Ajaxians - well who else was there ? I won't go into details but, well, I never knew how much a young lady could swear until the ensuing row with Hexxia. It would have been entertaining if it hadn't got out of hand. Sadly, I've never spoken to Hexxia since.

After that. It all becomes a blur again. Wingee finally proved me completely wrong when we were contracted to create EOC Online for Infogrames. There was a time when we all played both EOC Online and tvs. There was a time, about a week I think, where I was LC in tvs and FC in EOC.

I think, honestly, I'd have to say my finest hour was that Beta 3. Never since have my comms ever been fully understood. Ever since then, I've been able to fall out with LC's and team-mates far too easily. I, like many players, have had arguments, stormed off to sulk for a few days, and wrongly accused others of cheating. I have also met lots of people, had a lot of fun and even had sex as a result of my involvement with tvs. The arguments were stupid, the people were great and the sex... well, I really can't discuss that here.

In summary. Remember Blackadder for Beta 3. Ultimately though, my greatest triumph has to be for having the foresight to motivate Wingee to actually build tvs.

Bio submitted to www.theunchartedsector.co.uk by BlackAdder on 17/01/03