Tibran Times Beta 15
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The Truce of CT6 lasted six hours in what is probably the shortest lived peace treaty on record. Following an organized Tib pullout from ct6 only to be hit in TMC by an anomoly, the Ajax rushed in to crush cranar272 who was on sabatical leave
studying weather patterns in this outer ring sector. From the planet cranar conjured an anomoly which crushed the ajax down a bit.
Scuba "Mr. Ice" Steve watched from above as the Ajax flew their "paper planes" into a zone we claimed and will do so again.
He waited for them to feel comfortable before giving the order to return and crush the blue bugs. Then, headed to the showers where he was mugged and missed the jump.
The five Tibs who did make the jump watched in wonder as the Jax either targeted a lost Kril fighter or cloaked up. Seems the Ajax have remembered the last beating we delivered not so long ago. Kalian could still pull through, but in true form and no regard for his little ship, he took five shots at dandarl to bring him closer to death before rushing off to watch his favorite soap opera.
This is shaping up to be another crusher fight. Points galore because you know who's going to win.... that would be us
... Elsewhere ...
Tibs seem to struggle with the turn 21 and cycle patterns relating to it. Although we move well over a short time, we still have not found our perfect jump time. But, activity we do have. Oh baby, do we have good pilots.
Inner Ring planet directors are upset with the lack of visitors. They have stepped up a campaign to bring in more folks which have included enhanced weapons and chocolate bars.
Seagull reunion?
Asked about an ancient group getting together, vemillion denied ambitions of glory. Chilidog and Damian were also not available for comment - as they were too busy teaching Ajax how to jettison their pilots from damaged spacecraft.
Recent studies show that a certain beverage carried on EVERY Tibran carrier could very likely kill you if you drink even a sip. For more on this, tune in tomorrow at 6.
- Author: ChiliDog
- Posted: 27 September 2004 8:24
Tibran Action News
Tibran Action News at 11
Good evening and welcome to the Tibran Action news. Now to our main story.
Scandal!
Tibran officials are looking into a scandal involving the use of Ajaxian "comfort women" during the siege on Ajaxus. Tibran military personnel has denied the allegations but Action News has an excusive interview with a woman involved in the scandal that proves otherwise.
We now go live to Harlock, our reporter at the scene.
- "I must say, the Tibran public is shocked to hear about this scandal. I'm here with D@rio's mom and she says she has something to say in regards of the latest scandal."
- "That's right. The rumours are true...all of em. Those sons a bitches, I remember hitchin a ride to Chakeno's transport and the whole invading fleet was there. They all seemed pretty lonely so --"
!!!!!!!
We interrupt this live broadcast to announce that top cryptographers at the Tibran Intelligence Agency have deciphered the HW-HW code. I repeat, we have cracked the HW-HW code!!! Probably....maybe...
!!!!!!!
- "-- and now i want that 5 bucks they promised me!"
- "Wow, quite the testimonial. This reporter is shocked by the behavior of our troops."
- "Shocked? Weren't you ther--"
- "Back to you Bob!"
Elections
The polls have closed and Zypher seems to have come out the winner in the latest Tibran election amidst rumours that he had dodged the last draft for the Battle of Dreadlar and had not earned the "Green Heart" medals he had been awarded. The new LC was unavailable for comment but the Tibran Queen did some kind of weird waving thing with her hand in approval of the newly elected military leader.
Civil unrest
52 protesters were arrested today after clashes with the Tibran police outside of the Green House, the LC's residence when he is on Tibrar. Protesters were outraged by the destruction of Ajaxus claiming that the war against the Ajaxians was not justified and that the Ajaxians had no weapons of mass destruction. Our political analyst had this to say :
- "Ok, they didn't have weapons of mass destruction...but hey, they're Ajaxian, shouldn't that be reason enough??"
Meanwhile, our military is still trying to quash uprisings from patches of Ajaxian insurgents hiding in surrounding systems.
Well that's it for this edition of the Tibran Action News at 11. For Tibrar!
- Author: Harlock
- Posted: 19 October 2004 19:46
Ajaxian Minister
The Ajaxian Minister for Information continues to deny the reality,
"All your base are belong to us", he said, "soon our mighty fleet with the will of God behind it will destroy the weak Tib armada. They are crying now, they are afraid, we will eat them up with nasty pointy teeth." When asked if he had noticed the declining numbers of Ajaxians in the universe as they continued to die and be distributed to other legions, the Minister commented, "This is our plan, we planned it, our divine pilots will infiltrate the enemies houses and eat up their waffles; the enemy will grovel at the knees of our mighty pilots". His comment in response to the fact that Ajaxus had been destroyed? "No, Ajaxus can never fall, it is protected by the will of God and is stronger than the back of a camel, our base is not destroyed, that was an explosive decoy! Ajaxus hypered out to the Uncharted Sector just before the hyper limit".
Tibran forces continue to round up the last of the Ajaxians, but have been ordered to deliberately leave the Ajaxian Minister for Information alone due to his positive influence on Tibran morale.
- Author: ReekOfNature
- Posted: 20 October 2004 0:0
Tibrar Action News
From my bomber to your over head display, it's the
Tibran Action News at 11
Good evening and welcome to the Tibran Action news. Now to our main story.
Siege on Boraxus
Once again, our mighty troops have proved us that we are indeed the most powerful force the universe has ever laid eyes upon by making a spectacular HW-HW jump to invade the primitive Boraxians. Caught totally by surprise, our enormous fleet had no problem establishing a foothold in enemy territory.
One after the other, our enemies have been falling ever since, even though reinforcements arrived shortly after. Even as I speak, wounded Boraxians continue to flee their homeworld, leaving behind what little hope they might have had of pushing us back.
Now with Boraxus at less than 50%, it is inevitable that we will crush it and everything in our path.
Lieutenant-commander MIA
The jump to Boraxus seemed to have gone off without a hitch with one exception: The LC was missing in action. Having completed the jump but unfortunately, over a faulty long-range communicator, the LC jumped into the wrong homeworld, landing into planet Krilgore, home of the bloodthirsty Krilgorians.
Sources have confirmed that the faulty communicator was the source of the problem however rumors persist that maybe the lieutenant has a Krilgorian mistress..
The reviews are in!
The reviews are in: people are loving the news coverage as of late. We interviewed some of our fans and this is what they had to say:
- "i love it keep it up" - Zypher
- "ooh yeah, we're jammin" - rastafarian
- "Good show old bean. I must say, this is the funniest thing I have read since that Shakespearean play I partook of a fortnight ago. I laughed so hard, my monocle popped off. But I do imply, please, leave the letters to the editor in their own section." - Boris
- "I like toffee" - Cazman
- DISCLAIMER* People may or may not have actually said what Action News has reported.*DISCLAIMER*
Reporters under attack
This just in: attackers in Boraxus have been seen intentionally targeting a news vessel with the intention of destroying it. Our reporter was able to enter a carrier and suffered only mild brain damage. When approached for comment, this is what he said:
"pfft, they're not supposed to shoot at the media!! Those crazy Boraxians are violating interplanetary conventions!! Just because the news vessel happens to be bombing your homeworld, it doesn't make it right to try and destroy it!"
This has been another edition of the Tibran Action News. Thank you and good night. For Tibrar!
- Author: Harlock
- Posted: 21 October 2004 18:36
News Just In
everyone* has inexplicabley got an addiction to toffee . i like toffee too . who likes toffee .
Vote:- who likes toffe who likes fudge and who likes chocolate
the randomness continues
a feild of rabid llamas are begining to..........
no wait . was it goats
anyway were being invaded by something .... maybe a moose
- reads scanners*
oh yeh krills
this has been the side issue of the tibran tonail
"The Small Oddly Odd Magazines For Strangley Strange Tibran Things (Oh the insanity)"
- Author: parabola^
- Posted: 21 October 2004 20:17
Inteligence has its Limits
insanity has none
We interrupt this showing of "Survivor : Krilgore" for an urgent bulletin.
Health officials have determined that a shipment of toffee found aboard the Tibran carriers Chakeño and Picaflor have been tampered with and laced with a hallucinogenic substance causing troops to mistake the enemy for llamas or goats. Investigations are underway.
Authorities are advising anyone aboard these carriers to not eat the toffee. I repeat, DO NOT EAT THE TOFFEE. Thank you.
We now return you to your regular programming.
- Author: Harlock
- Posted: 21 October 2004 20:31
Victory after Victory
The Tibran War Chariot lacks victims to trample.
The superiority of the Tibran War Machine is well-known to all readers. But the overwhelming offensive power of our Legions has had few occassions for demonstration until now.
Boraxus has easily been destroyed. Little is left to attest to our might, but the Lizards know who wrought their ruin. Broken they are, their scattered bones scant memory of forgotten glories.
Does Krilgore still stand? Our death-bringing LC says not for long.
Let us wipe away the mere memory of our former foes, oh Tibrans. Let us assault with all our valour our ancient enemies. Be strong, oh blood of my blood. Let us wash our wrists in righteous gore.
Also, I think the government's taxation policies could do with review.
B.
- Author: Boris
- Posted: 27 October 2004 2:32
